A Theory On My State of Mind

[jennythereader]

So, I've been pretty depressed the last week or so. I've also been insanely homesick. For me, these two things seem to correlate fairly frequently.

I've always assumed that the sequence of events was:
1] Get absurdly homesick
2] Feel depressed

Today an alternate sequence occurred to me:
1] My brain chemicals go wonky
2] The wonky brain chemicals make me feel depressed for no reason
3] My subconscious, flailing wildly in search of a reason, comes up with homesickness.
4] My subconscious, having decided on homesickness as the reason for my depression, starts dwelling on what I miss about East Lansing and my family, exaggerating the good things and minimizing the reasons I left.
5] Eventually, the brain chemicals go back to normal.
6] My homesickness subsides to its usual low levels.

Comments

[gwenlianna.livejournal.com]

This seems like a reasonable possible explanation.

I'm sorry that you've been feeling depressed and homesick (whichever one came first)

[nounsandverbs]

I find that's often the case -- the depression comes when it comes, and the brain attaches a reason to it later. Doesn't make it any less real or difficult, though. Hope you feel better.

[jennythe-reader.livejournal.com]

I have been feeling better the last few days. In fact, it was noticing that my depression had receded and so had the homesickness that got me thinking along these lines. Nothing outside my head had changed in any way that would affect my homesickness, so I started wondering what had changed.