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jennythereaderOver the years the idea of not holding grudges has become very important to me. I feel that staying angry about something that happened a long time ago is a waste of energy and time. It's like continuing to eat a food that makes you sick just because someone else forced you to eat it once. I wasted my teen years that way and I don't want to feel like that ever again.
That isn't to say I automatically forgive and forget when someone hurts me. That would be quite a bit stupider than I try to be. What I try to do is to let go of the emotional anger and hurt, while still remembering that this is a person who causes pain. I let the wound heal without forgetting how I got it.
Picture it this way: if you slip on the ice on a particular bit of sidewalk you might get angry at that moment, but you don't stay angry. There's no point to it. Instead, you remember that patch of ice and are careful when you walk on that part of the sidewalk. If it turns out that even being careful and watchful isn't enough to keep from falling then you may start taking a different route when it's an option. That's how I try to treat people who hurt me or others. I limit my interactions with them as much as possible, and tread carefully when I can't avoid them.
I don't always succeed at letting my anger go. But I think it's a goal worth striving for.
That isn't to say I automatically forgive and forget when someone hurts me. That would be quite a bit stupider than I try to be. What I try to do is to let go of the emotional anger and hurt, while still remembering that this is a person who causes pain. I let the wound heal without forgetting how I got it.
Picture it this way: if you slip on the ice on a particular bit of sidewalk you might get angry at that moment, but you don't stay angry. There's no point to it. Instead, you remember that patch of ice and are careful when you walk on that part of the sidewalk. If it turns out that even being careful and watchful isn't enough to keep from falling then you may start taking a different route when it's an option. That's how I try to treat people who hurt me or others. I limit my interactions with them as much as possible, and tread carefully when I can't avoid them.
I don't always succeed at letting my anger go. But I think it's a goal worth striving for.
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Date: 2011-12-06 08:30 pm (UTC)