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nounsandverbs
1. How can I tell if you're angry?
I don't get angry often, but when I do I get quiet and still at first and then snippy. Frequently I cry. I also get a particular expression on my face... pursed lips and clenched teeth. If there are any other warning signs, I can't think of them off the top of my head. I don't stay angry long, so the warning signs aren't there very long.
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
Leave me alone unless I approach you, especially if you're the one who made me angry. By the time I'm ready to talk to anybody I'm usually not actually angry anymore.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
Hugs are almost always welcome, although not from people I wouldn't let hug me under normal circumstances. Other than that, listen if I want to talk, and be honest with me even if you think it will hurt me more. In the long run I always appreciate truth over even the most well meaning deception. Don't try to solve the problem for me unless I ask for it.
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
There are a few topics that I probably can't have a civil discussion with somebody who has the extreme opposite view from mine, and there are a few topics where I'm not comfortable talking about them in the general course of a conversation, but I'll just change the subject or disengage from the conversation if we get into either of those situations.
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
Make sure I have the basic creature comforts (I forget to eat or drink if I'm really sick), and otherwise mostly leave me alone.
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
Recommend me books and music and podcasts and websites that you think I'd enjoy. Then talk to me about them and tell me why you like them and what makes you think I'd like them.
7. How would you like us to recognize your birthday?
I'd rather have no recognition than a generic drugstore birthday card with just your signature on it. In general, do anything that shows you put some thought into who I am and what I like.
8. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
Craft supplies are always welcome. I'm not sure if there's anything that would never be a good idea.
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
December is always a little melancholy. Both of my grandfathers and my cousin died in the weeks leading up to Christmas. I have... complex feelings about Mother's Day.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
I've had quite a few good relationship moments in February, November 5th is my wedding anniversary, and the weekend before Memorial day is when Tom & I had our not-a-wedding-reception.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
Show me the things you like about where you live. If the visit is more than a couple of days long I'll need to have some alone time.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
Email is far and away the best way to get in touch with me. On weekdays during business hours I'll most likely be able to get back to you within 10 minutes. The rest of the time might take longer, but it's still better than any other method I can think of.
nounsandverbs1. How can I tell if you're angry?
I don't get angry often, but when I do I get quiet and still at first and then snippy. Frequently I cry. I also get a particular expression on my face... pursed lips and clenched teeth. If there are any other warning signs, I can't think of them off the top of my head. I don't stay angry long, so the warning signs aren't there very long.
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
Leave me alone unless I approach you, especially if you're the one who made me angry. By the time I'm ready to talk to anybody I'm usually not actually angry anymore.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
Hugs are almost always welcome, although not from people I wouldn't let hug me under normal circumstances. Other than that, listen if I want to talk, and be honest with me even if you think it will hurt me more. In the long run I always appreciate truth over even the most well meaning deception. Don't try to solve the problem for me unless I ask for it.
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
There are a few topics that I probably can't have a civil discussion with somebody who has the extreme opposite view from mine, and there are a few topics where I'm not comfortable talking about them in the general course of a conversation, but I'll just change the subject or disengage from the conversation if we get into either of those situations.
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
Make sure I have the basic creature comforts (I forget to eat or drink if I'm really sick), and otherwise mostly leave me alone.
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
Recommend me books and music and podcasts and websites that you think I'd enjoy. Then talk to me about them and tell me why you like them and what makes you think I'd like them.
7. How would you like us to recognize your birthday?
I'd rather have no recognition than a generic drugstore birthday card with just your signature on it. In general, do anything that shows you put some thought into who I am and what I like.
8. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
Craft supplies are always welcome. I'm not sure if there's anything that would never be a good idea.
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
December is always a little melancholy. Both of my grandfathers and my cousin died in the weeks leading up to Christmas. I have... complex feelings about Mother's Day.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
I've had quite a few good relationship moments in February, November 5th is my wedding anniversary, and the weekend before Memorial day is when Tom & I had our not-a-wedding-reception.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
Show me the things you like about where you live. If the visit is more than a couple of days long I'll need to have some alone time.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
Email is far and away the best way to get in touch with me. On weekdays during business hours I'll most likely be able to get back to you within 10 minutes. The rest of the time might take longer, but it's still better than any other method I can think of.
